Society teaches us to suppress our emotions and we wonder why we are cut off from our power source within. Are our emotions here to be listened to? Could what we feel could actually help guide us and provide us with generations of ancestral wisdom that's been buried beneath? Is this the intelligence that we need to learn and grow?
Or are we just in auto-pilot running from our emotions - ignoring them in any moment through any distractions available? If we do ignore our emotions, we often find ourselves in even greater disconnect with ourselves. Does the exhaustion of running eventually catch up with us?
What if we simply paused, took some deep slow breaths and then turned and faced inward toward the conflict within us that we are unlovable, not good enough, the source within us? What if we took time out to just be with the mechanism that secretly drives every decision we make to avoid pain and survive?
Do you want to remain asleep to this inner-turmoil and continue to project scenarios onto others every time they step on your most sensitive triggers for attack vs really feeling what you don't want to feel? This goes against the grain of your very nature and societal conditioning. Is your life being impacted by your ignorance today, your choices limited to all too similar ones made yesterday, last week, last month, last year? Are you willing to do the investigative work to look behind the curtain of what's really going on behind the scene you are causing with your juicy stories and the convenient characters put in place for re-enactment?
Would you like to explore a sea of other options here and leave with an orientation that levels up your current way of engaging with life unfolding in each and every new moment? If so, this could be a life-altering experiment that could absolutely transform your life as you currently know it. Let's walk through the door that gives you access to a place that affords you greater freedom, healing and support from within. Do you want to go even deeper into life or stay entangled with your current superficial layer? You may not know it now…but you’re probably making the same mistake I made that kept me stuck for quite some time. Let's shift some energy right here, right now and begin illuminating the limiting mindset holding you back from fully living.
Give yourself permission to exit your day for a brief break, and as you may find out, a much needed one. Let's begin to turn in right here and detach from the outer-world experiences. First take a few minutes to arrive, to truly be here now, fully, to get a bit out of your head space and drop into your heart space, so you can bring more mindfulness, intention and attention to this exercise. Set a timer for a 1-5 minutes and simply sit up tall, take a few breaths in through your nose and out your mouth. Begin to observe your breath in through the nose, belly filling up and then emptying and out the mouth vs forcing it to do anything in particular. Close your eyes now and quiet and slow things down just a bit more. Then take your time and return with some calmness to this article when your bell rings.
Welcome back! Why are you here? What would you like to learn about yourself and your unique ways in which you show up in the world and add value to other's experiences, and more importantly your own?
Be the change you want to see in the world vs going to war with others and trying to force them to be the way you need them to be to feel comfortable in the world.
Most of us turn to substances and activities in some form to escape from having to "feel" any sort of undesired emotion (anger, sadness, etc.). We self-diagnose and self medicate so we don't have to feel a less desirable way. This behavior pattern becomes a cycle of destruction in meeting stress that often grows and becomes debilitating symptoms, as well as "common dis-eases" of the mind, body and spirit/soul.
Through the cycle of change, we can change every aspect of our being, even down to our neurological and cellular level. Detoxifying the body through proper nutrition, exercise and rest as well as becoming awake to our own self-care, on every level, is a beneficial lifestyle to focus your energy on.
What if through the tough stuff is the only way through this stuff, not moving away from (an all too familiar ineffective temporary fix suppression strategy). You've already attempted to avoid, distract, disassociate, or perhaps spin thoughts overindulging, which is not actually building a "feeling skill-set." You're trapped in your head, surprisingly. The skill you are about to develop here is a little difficult at first like quieting your mind with meditation. You need to get lots of repetitions in, lot's of practice before you can rely on this. So if you're new to this kind of stuff, allow a little more patience with yourself like you have when learning and mastering other things you clearly rock at now in your life. I can tell you this, the pay-off will exceed all your other endeavors if you follow this path.
Let's learn how to be with our feelings in a less attached way just as if they are thoughts landing on your body like the wind, here for a moment and will pass in their time, not your pushy efforts. We just want to acknowledge and observe their degree and witness them decrease in power, dissipate and move on at their own pace. Everything in nature rises and falls on a bell curve. When starting this practice, it's ok to titrate with feelings seemingly intolerable and over time develop a greater comfort with going deeper into them. You don't have to hit a grand-slam this first attempt.
Ask yourself out-loud: "Do I give myself permission to feel what I haven't been wanting to feel?"
Then, "I give myself permission to feel ________" (sad, angry, scared, frustrated, lonely, whatever)
Next, "I feel _____________" (again, sad, angry, scared, frustrated, lonely, whatever)
Followed by "I notice in my body _________" (Tightness in my throat, heaviness behind my eyes, ache in my upper back, wrenched like feeling in my gut, can't feel parts of my body, etc.)
What we are looking for is this...Can I feel undesirable feelings, acknowledge them and still be calm and ok, not ruled and run by them. It's a wonderful sensation when you notice you can actually be very sad, angry or whatever emotion you don't want to be feeling, and feel a great sense of calm at the same time. When you feel this you know you are at the doorway....
If these feelings have been visiting you all your life and are going to continue to visit you for the rest of your life, could you make friends with them and appreciate them? When they show up from time-to-time they are here to be great teachers worth investigating at a deeper level. Become a curious detective, no longer being owned and pushed around by your emotions. You are the captain of your ship on an ever-changing sea, that can rock your boat.
Up for a challenge?
Like anything worth fighting for, consistent practice will lead to self-mastery. Give this exercise a fair shot tomorrow and the next day for starters and just see if something begins to shift within you. If you commit to a small surgical incision deep within yourself, then the inevitable outcome will be your life and outer-circumstances shifting in such a vast new life-enhancing way. The only security in life comes from building your skills and unlocking your courage.